ip|I Am So Very Sorry

详细内容

'

To:Jacob~From:Meg

DearJacob,

I"vefoundthatmanypeopletendtonotspeakupwhensomethingbothersthem,thinkingthatitistrivialtomentionit.Unfortunately,whathappensisafterrepeatedtimesofnotspeakingup,somesmallourrencehappensanditendsupbeingthestrawthatbrokethecamel"sback.Theotherpartner,moreoftenthannot,hasnocluewhattheyareupsetaboutandthereforethinktheyareover-reacting.

Ifeellikethisisthestoryofourrelationship.Ihatearguingwithyou;Ihatehearingthatpain-filledtoneofyourvoice,orfeelingyourcoldshoulderwhenIbrushpastjusttogetahintofyourscent.I"mnotnaturallyanangryperson;youknowthatfromwhenyoufirstmetme.Ihavesomanybadmemories,somanymomentsthatIholdmyselfinbecausetheyseemtobeallthatisleftofme.IfeellikeaghostcreatedfromtornwebsofmypastandIhavebroughtallthatintoarelationship,thinkingthatpastproblemswon"tmeltoverintopresentdilemmas.I"vebeenlivingalie.

Ourargumentwascausedfromsomanythings.Myinsecurities,mylackofself-worth,theselfishwanttobetheonlyohatmakesyousmileandtossasparkleacrossyoureye.Iknowthattheblameismostlymine.Yourfriendsareyourfamily,muchlikemymotherismyfamily.IdefendthethingsshesaysanddoesoutofloveandIknowyoudomuchofthesameforthem.

I"msorryfornottakingthetimetobepatientwithyou,tositandlistenandunderstandthewayyoufeel.IknowthatIwillneverknowthethingstheysharewithyouandyousharewiththemandthereforeyourrelationshipwiththemisofadifferentimportancethanyoursandmine.WhenyousayIamwronginamatterthatconcernsyourfriends,yourfamily,thenmostlikelyIam...I"msorryforhurtingyouandbeatingyoudownsooften.IfanyoneshowsalackofrespectinthisrelationshipthenIsupposeitismewhoistoblame.

Ifeellikeyoudon"twanttobenearme,youdon"twanttotouchmeafterwhatI"vesaidanddoowardsyou.IftheringerwereonrightnowIwouldknowthattherewasachanceformetoetoyoursideandsaythisinperson.AnythingtoletyouknowthatthisismesayingI"msorry,Jacob,I"mso,sosorry.Ifyoucouldeverfivemeitwouldnotgounappreciated,ifnotthenitwillnotgomisunderstood.

ThisisallIcansay,andifyouaskmeto,Iwillsaynomoreeveragaintoyou.

Ijustwishyoutoknowthatmyselfishwillhasbroken,mybarriershavefallen,andmyloveforyouhaseintofullview.Ineverwanttohaveusturnandgoaway....Wemightfeelbetterifwestay.

Lovealways,

YourMeggie